Speaking of older women being sexually empowered, folks on the coast near Mombasa, Kenya, estimate that as many as one in five single women visiting from affluent countries are there for one thing, and one thing only — sex.
What was once the province of wealthy, mostly white men visiting certain parts of Asia and Latin America, sex tourism is increasingly becoming an equal opportunity travel pastime.
"It's not evil," said Jake Grieves-Cook, chairman of the Kenya Tourist Board, when asked about the practice of older rich women traveling for sex with young Kenyan men. "But it's certainly something we frown upon."14
A sixty-four year old white British woman from the south of England named Allie [she would not give her last name] — who was recently spotted resting her white-haired head on the shoulder of a six feet four inch, twenty-three year old Maasai, sporting a new pair of sunglasses — said, “We both get something we want. Where's the negative?"
Older European and Canadian women often frequent the beaches of Mombasa, Kenya, arm in arm with black escorts, left. Charlotte Rampling and Ménothy Cesar, an 18-year-old Haitian youth on a Caribbean beach in the film Heading South, directed by Laurent Cantet.
Grieves-Cook claims that he and other hotel managers are doing what they can to discourage the practice of older women picking up local boys, arguing that it’s not the kind of tourism they want to promote in the east African nation.
"The head of a local hoteliers' association told me they have begun taking measures — like refusing guests who want to change from a single to a double room," Grieves-Cook added. "It’s a fine line. We are one hundred percent against anything illegal, such as prostitution. But it's different with something like this. It’s just . . . unwholesome."
Unwholesome! We at The Gramma Sutra find this double standard ridiculous. A sixty-four year old woman and a twenty-three year old man engaging in a mutually consensual relationship is neither illegal nor unwholesome.
Sounds like the gander getting his feathers ruffled because the goose is getting her groove on!
Many of these visitors are in search of young men like Joseph, a twenty-two year old with a dazzling white smile who’s built like an Olympic basketball star. According to Joseph, he’s slept with more than 100 white women, most of them thirty years his senior.
"When I go into the clubs, those are the only women I look for now," says Joseph. "I get to live like the rich mzungus (white people) who come here from rich countries, staying in the best hotels and just having my fun."
And fun seems to be the operative word. “It's a social arrangement,” said Bethan, a fifty-six year old Briton, sipping a powerful local drink made from honey, fresh limes and vodka, known locally as Dawa, or medicine. “I buy him a nice shirt and we go out for dinner. For as long as he stays with me he doesn't pay for anything, and I get what I want — a good time. How is that different from a man buying a young girl dinner?"
Well, as long as you’re playing it safe.
According to Julia Davidson, an academic and sexual researcher at Nottingham University, she’s met women who shun the use of condoms — in a country with an AIDS prevalence of 6.9% — finding them too "businesslike" for their exotic fantasies.
Remember: Even Tarzan’s Jane wore a loincloth!
Ten Gramma Sutra Tips on Traveling Abroad for Sex
- Don’t travel alone. When venturing abroad, bring a friend along to share the adventure.
- Always let your travel partner know where you are, and with whom, at all times.
- Bring your own lubricant and condoms, and extra batteries for your toys. Chances are, you won’t find what you’re looking for locally. Pack extra gallon plastic bags for storage.
- Some drugs – like Viagra – are significantly cheaper abroad. Depending on where you’re going, bring your prescription with you (if you have one). In some cases, prescriptions aren’t even required.
- When you check in, get a room with a queen- or kind-sized bed; you may have trouble checking in to a bigger room once you find local company.
- Use the safe in your room, if you have one – NOT the one at the front desk.
- Never give money to anyone with whom you’re having sex. Tips and gratuities (e.g. sunglasses, clothes, meals, etc.) are fine, but giving cash might be misinterpreted as promoting prostitution.
- Always check the ID of your partner. He may look like he’s an adult, but you’ll want to be sure. Plus, you’ll want to know his real name anyway, just in case. Record it somewhere privately before you start partying.
- Take a picture of your fling with your mobile phone, and email it to yourself or your travel partner. Security is having someone’s picture on hand. If you didn’t bring your mobile phone with you because it doesn’t work abroad, consider buying a pre-paid phone for your holiday.
- Use common sense, and scrutinize his penis before it enters your body.
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