By the age of 40, the average American has been exposed to one million ads17
According to Jean Kilbourne, author and expert on gender issues and the media, the image of ideal beauty we’re exposed to in the hundreds and hundreds of ads that we see every day is generating a corrosive cultural environment that not only sacrifices a woman’s sense of wellbeing, but her health.
“The message from advertising is that the way to be happy, to find satisfaction — including sexual satisfaction — is through the consumption of products,” says Kilbourne.
But no matter what women do to try and achieve this ideal, it’s still an ideal. Failure’s inevitable, because the dream is based on a lie.
Twenty years ago, Kilbourne says, the average female model weighed 8% less than the average woman. Now, she weighs 23% less.
Moreover, the kind of body we’re exposed to in advertising is a combination of the model’s actual looks, plastic surgery, and a whole passel of Photoshop magic.
All advertising images are digitally altered. Every one. In reality, we have no idea what models (or movie stars and other celebrities) really look like.
Demi Moore, as she appears in a Helena Rubinstein perfume ad (Mert Alas and Marcus Piggot), left. And the actress in a similar pose, right . . . from Ashton Kutcher's Twitter feed! Frankly, at least to us, she looks much better au natural! Photo: Courtesy of Helena Rubenstein & Ashton Kutcher's Twitter
When we can’t live up to the idealized, perfect women we see in advertising, it’s no wonder most of us feel crappy about our bodies, and this has a profound impact on our sexuality.
According to health care educator Leah Kliger and clinical psychologist Deborah Nedelman, “Fifty-one per cent of older women interviewed cited dissatisfaction in body image as the primary factor in their loss of sexual desire.”
Many doctors will tell you that once sexual desire has vanished, it's gone for good. But Kliger and Nedelman have learned this is far from the truth.
“Sexual desire ebbs and flows over time . . . Many women [have] found that after an initial decrease in their 50s and 60s, there was a resurgence of sexual appetite when they reached their 70s or even 80s.”21
A “perfect” Barbie-doll plastic surgery model, left; with Valerie Bertinelli (at 48), right, looking buff from eating Jenny Craig.
Today, as our population continues to age, our role models are occasionally older and more experienced, like ad spokesperson Valerie Bertinelli who (now, just shy of fifty), flaunts her toned abs and biceps for Jenny Craig. But let’s be honest: These are tough role models to follow if you don’t happen to have a personal stylist and trainer chained up in your basement. And, if you do, you might want to think about letting them go. We’re not judging but . . .
“It's daunting to think that we are supposed to be as interested in sex as we were in our twenties and have bodies and wardrobes that mirror that age,” add Kantrowitz and Wingert. “When we were growing up, we rarely saw a college student and her mom wearing the same clothes. These days, that's commonplace — and we're not sure it's such a good thing.”23
Gramma Sutra goes further. If you’re all fired up to look like a teenager, then slap on those braces, pimple yourself out, and take the SATs too while you’re at it.
“What's needed,” say Kantrowitz and Wingert, “is a reasonable balance between old-fashioned stereotypes and modern hype, combined with a new understanding of what sex means to women of ‘a certain age.’ By the time they reach their late forties or early fifties, women should be savvy enough to know that feeling sexy is a state of mind [emphasis added] . . . In order to enjoy sex, you have to feel that you're sexy. That's not easy if your self-esteem is tied to unrealistic images of eternal youth.”
Let the viewer beware. Try and block out all those cultural messages which imply that if you don't look like you're 20, you're not sexy. Because, dahlins, just like a Timex, older women take a licking . . . and keep on ticking!
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