The Gramma Sutra

Rolling in the Deep

The Gramma Sutra received this letter from a musical and merry GrammaSutrian.

Dear Gramma Sutra,

Just thought I'd drop you a line to tell you about how a new song brought up some old feelings.  Last month I'm spending time with my granddaughter when she puts this song on in the car, "Rolling in the Deep" by Adele.  I laughed and asked my gd how old the singer was and she said 21.  The voice, the melody, the backbeat took me back.  I might have been a 6o something year old woman in Chicago but all of a sudden it was the sixties and I was in San Francisco, hair wild, attitude buck wild, listening to Joni, Jimi and Joan.  I was standing in the pouring rain and mud at Woodstock.  I was driving in the Delta with this gorgeous long haired hippie drinking southern comfort, joining CORE and discovering the blues and John Lee Hooker.

That song made me remember all the other songs, the songs of my youth which have become the songs of my life.  I made my grand daughter play the song over and over and told her some of my wild stories, the more tame ones.  She looked at me with new eyes and I thought "Honey, if you only knew!"

Then I went home, downloaded the album and did a little Rolling in the Deep with that long haired hippie that I've been married to for over forty years.  Thank you Adele!

Love and Sex,

Mama Mimi, Chicago, IL

Whew! Mama Mimi, you've got us all hot and bothered over here at the Gramma Sutra.  Thank you for your letter and for those of you who don't know Adele, check her out below.

 

 

 

 

Gramma Sutra meets Vibrant Nation

Hello GrammaSutrians!

We’ve been syndicated! The GrammaSutra can now be viewed at www.vibrantnation.com. VibrantNation.com is the leading online community for Baby Boomer women – the place where they connect and support each other on issues unique to life after 50, including fashion, beauty, family, relationships, work, money, and sex.

Vibrant Nation reaches 100,000 unique monthly visitors.  A trusted resource for women 50+, Vibrant Nation features a growing network of over 100 midlife bloggers, promotes offline gatherings, and publishes digital health and beauty content written by Vibrant women experts.

So check us out at www.vibrantnation.com where we’ll have our usual funny, twisted and informative information about sex, aging and women.

The Housekeeper isn't your Sex toy!

Given the recent current events we here at the Gramma Sutra thought that maybe there need to be some rules, well um not rules guidelines, sexual guidelines.  Look, if you can remember Dick West as Batman, if you remember having air raid drills in school, if you tuned in, turned on and dropped out then perhaps you may want to review our guidelines to having fun, safe, wonderful sex.   In fact these guidelines are great if you're 77 or 27!

These rules aren't written in stone but if you want to think of them as Sexmandments, we certainly can't stop you.

 We wouldn't you to be caught with your pants down, until you want to be caught with your pants down.

Let us know if you have any Sexmandments of your own to share.

THE GRAMMA SUTRA SEXMANDMENTS

1.  A person that says NO is not being coy.  They do not want to have sex with you. That look in their eyes is not a come on it's a "Get away from me" look.  Do not attempt to repeatedly persuade the naysayer with your charm, wit, drinks or offers of employment or  for the love of Pete brute force.  At best you will seem foolish and idiotic, at worst you will go to jail.

2.  Do not have sex with someone who is unconscious, semiconscious, drunk out of their mind, stoned out of their mind, having an allergic reaction or just found out that their terminal illness diagnosis was a mistake.  You will be taking advantage of them and an orgasm obtained under these circumstances will be short lived and possibly subject to criminal prosecution.

3.  The Housekeeper is not your Sex Toy.  Neither is the stewardess, the bartender, the masseuse at a real massage parlor, the waiter or waitress, the personal assistant, the lawyers in your divorce negotiations or the person preparing you for your colonoscopy.  These people and thousands like them are just doing their job, it is not a come on when the maid in the hotel asks if you need fresh towels, that is not code for "Take me now and ravish me."  Sometimes a towel is just a towel.

4. You can't have sex anywhere at anytime with anyone.  This is one of those life lessons that you should have learned before the first grade.  You can't get what you want all the time.  You may be madly in love with your beloved but please don't attempt to copulate with them while at your grandchilds bar mitzvah.  Impulse control is next to Godliness.  On the same note try not to expose your inner most feelings and by feelings I mean sex organs to people who didn't realize that sex was in the air.  Before you decide to have sex with someone, make sure they want to have sex with you too, see Rules 1-3.

5.  Good manner equals great sex.  The Gramma Sutra advocates good manners. When it comes to sex, good manners are necessity.  Treat your partner with respect.   Do not insult them.  You might think you're as funny as Chris Rock or Robin Williams but the fact that you are not Chris Rock or Robin Williams would belie this point.  Bring your own prophelatics, look the person in the eye, pay attention to whether they are getting off or having a good time. In other words act like you give a damn.  This could be the person of your dreams or a one night stand but have the good manners to treat them like, well like a human being.  You'd be surprised how a little good manners can lead to a lot of great sex!

Tune in next week for the next 5 SEXMANDMENTS!



 

 

 

Debbie Does Depends: Kim Cattrall in movie about aging Sex stars

Kim Cattrall

Kim Cattrall in Anchor Bay Films' 'Meet Monica Velour'

Kim Cattrall, the sexually adventurous Samantha from Sex and the City has a new role, aging star. Cattrall plays an over the hill porn star who's tired, jaded and broke in the indie film "Meet Monica Velour." Cattrall, who gained 20 pounds for the role says that the role was the closest she's come to playing a real woman.

A real woman really? Look, The Gramma Sutra loved, loved, loved Cattralls portrait of Samantha Jones fearless, fiftyish, femme fatale.  We loved how she loved her body, we adored her take no prisoners attitude toward sex.  We also knew that while we knew some women that were Samantha-ish, we didn't know anyone who was so completely at ease with their aging sexuality as she was.  Samantha wasn't real.  News flash Kim, the jaded porn star isn't any more real but at least she doesn't look like she spends half her day at the gym!

Snarkiness aside, we do salute Kim Cattrall for playing a woman of a certain age in the movies.  We don't care if it's an aging porn star, aging rock star or an aging supermarket star.   Contrary to what the movie execs believe women do NOT disappear into thin air once they hit menopause or perimenopause.  From the letters we get here at the Gramma Sutra  there's a whole lotta shaking going on personally, professionally and sexually from women over 50.  Hip, hip, hooray for a movie with a star whose age is not equivalent to the size of her waist. The Gramma Sutra can't wait to see this new film. 

For more information about Kim Cattrall's new movie click here.

 

 

Older men think sex still important, older women ready and willing!

 

A new study in Australia has found that even men nearing the 100 year mark think sex is still important.  Twenty percent of men near one hundred say a healthy sex life is vital.  Hear that ladies, twenty percent of men way older than you think sex is important.  Judging from the letters The Gramma Sutra gets, older women have known sex was important for a while now.  The Gramma Sutra is glad the older men are catching up.

The Australian study looked at men from 75 to 95 and found that many men in their seventies were still having active sex lives.  Ladies, if your stud has turned into a dud pay attention!  The main reason that men gave for limiting their sex lives were health issues, this is also true for women.  The healthier you are the more sex you can have.  The more sex you can have the healthier you get (as long as it's safe sex).  The Gramma Sutra hates to say we told you so but.... We told you so.  Check out our physiology section ladies for issues that affect our sex lives by decade.

The Gramma Sutra tips our hat off to our mates down under who are still getting down.  For the rest of you horny but lazy louts, get off your couch and get moving.  Sex is great exercise and does wonders for your mood.  Nothing burns off a post menopausal bad day like a roll in the hay or a jump on the bed or a quickie in the kitchen!  To read more on the Australian sex study click here.